Tuesday, April 20, 2010

shoes you should kill yourself for having of the day

companies that allow slobby asian men to not only get photographed in their clothing but DESIGN for them should be destroyed. this is the case with ed hardy. seriously look at these sneakers. these should be thrown up on.

shoes i want of the day

i would like to not have bunions so i could get these trashy shoes for $1,295. thanks.

video of the day

this kid needs to be on tv.

picture of the day

candy and legos. in a perfect world that's what i would do all day. eat candy and play with legos. from here.

day of the day

today is 4/20. this is an exciting day if you are in college or unemployed i guess.

stole this from here.

word of the day

salmagundi: a heterogeneous mixture; a mixed salad of various ingredients

i could throw up in my mouth thinking of that salmagundi you consume for dinner.

Monday, April 19, 2010

innapropriate item of the day

get your "dear iceland, we said 'send cash, not ash'" t-shirt here. a very wise young man once said, "you can be nice, or you can get out of my house."

odd news of the day

"it was common knowledge that after work, if you needed martinis, mozzarella sticks or marijuana, this was the place to go." obviously we're talking about tgi fridays here. now that they got busted, you should probably hurry over to applebees to stock up.

read about it here.
really, you can't tell these people are high?

Friday, April 16, 2010

Must-Have Product of the Day

Tired of looking at your pet's (excuse my French) asshole? Not to worry. Rear Gear has just the product for you. Now you can disguise that embarrassing orifice with more G rated items such as flowers, hearts and trees! Also, no, this isn't a joke.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

video of the day

hitler's bracket sucks like mine.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

fun fact of the day

a typical american eats 28 pigs in his lifetime.

bacon is good for me!

word of the day

claptrap: noun. empty verbiage or nonsense.
i don't want to hear any more claptrap about your stupid ideas!

Monday, March 22, 2010

link of the day

this website, stfu parents, shows the worst of idiot parents on facebook. today we get to read about a mom who finds her own her up her child's butt, and a brilliant mom who colors the potty water green in honor of st. patty's day. ROFLMAO!!!!

free stuff of the day!!!

TOMORROW (you need to know this in advance so you can line up early) is free pastry day at starbucks until 10:30am (print this coupon!!) AND free cone day at ben & jerry's. plus they have new flavors, like milk & cookies ! yippppyyyyy

day of the day

today is international world water day. i want to first comment that i have ranked my love for water number one amongst my top ten loved things in the world, with footie pajamas, cupcakes, guacamole, dinosaurs, and cheese not far behind. on a serious note, you should donate to charity:water.

word of the day

cunctation: delay, hesitation, procrastination
sorry for my cunctation in updating today, mom*!

*actually my mom doesn't even read this

Friday, March 19, 2010

amazing music video of the day


another picture of the day

i can't help myself when it's so lovelyyyy out and its fridayyy.

picture of the day

i don't know what it is about these little boxheads, but they're so cute. via flickr.

word of the day

sylph: noun. a spirit of the air; a slender, graceful woman
oh look at me dance, i'm such a sylph.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

cupcake-related post of the day

if something is related to cupcakes, i will buy it. if something is juicy couture, i will not buy it. because i'm no longer in 8th grade. but now i'm torn with all this great cupcake stuff out there that i don't own (yet).

amazing music video of the day

today's video is warren g featuring nate dogg's 1994 ditty, regulate. i am just feeling very gangster today.

day of the day

today is awkward moments day, which is funny, because i thought that was every day. go out and be awkward.

it's also march madness, the time of year when i pretend to know anything about sports. this blog helps. go vermont.

word of the day

errhine: adj. causing an excess of mucus in the nose, causing one to sneeze
the exciting change of weather to spring brings errhine pollen, which in turn spreads germs everywhere!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

day of the day

today is lips appreciation day. kiss somebody. oo la la

word of the day

avuncular: adj. in the manner of an uncle; hence, kind, benevolent, tolerant.
my avuncular uncle harry is very generous with his money; being blind, it's hard to determine the difference between singles and hundreds.

Monday, March 15, 2010

link of the day

having a bad day? not unlikely, considering this daylight savings bullshit. cornify.com can add unicorns, sparkles, and rainbows to just about anything on your computer. it's kind of like a bedazzler for your photos, blogs, and websites. the internet will never be dark and stormy again.

word of the day

phantasmagoria: noun. a series of events involving rapid changes in light intensity and color; a dreamlike state where real and imagined elements are blurred together.
is this phantasmagoria or is the sun really out?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

link of the day

i could live without animals. yea, i know about the food chain but if all the animals in the world could just all live on one continent together, that would be okay with me. i would still want to watch the puppy cam to keep up with the little cutie shibas, but that's enough. this great website, fuck you, penguin, is incredible. it hasn't been updated in a while though. i guess that's what happens when you land a book deal, you just give up on all your devoted bloggers (shoutout to my mom).

fun fact of the day

snickers is the best selling chocolate bar of all time, and has annual global sales of $2 billion. this is for obvious reasons. deliiicious.

day of the day

today is international fanny pack day!! these fine accessories were originally made to wear in the back, above the "fanny," hence the name. obviously that was not the best idea in terms of security and comfort, so some brilliant fashion-forward individuals eventually started wearing them in the front and it stuck. i think they also look hip on the side. the best kind of fanny pack is not the old school 90's; it is in fact, the designer fanny pack. back in high school, people actually spent real dollars, by choice, on gucci and prada fanny packs. hahahaha. all praise the fanny pack!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

day of the day

today is mario day. get it, mar. 10? mario? we are celebrating everyone named mario. luigi always got the short end of the stick.

word of the day

penetralia: noun. the innermost secret parts of a building; the most private or secret parts, recesses
has he shown you his penetralia yet? he's a real weirdo.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Birthday of the Day

Happy Birthday, Barbie! Today, this lil hottie turns 51 years old. I hope I look this good when I am 51 without needing any plastic surgery or lypo. This brings me back to the days when I was a hardcore Barbie player, except I had 12 Barbies and only one Ken, so Ken was kind of a whore. Also, he was missing his nose because my little brother bit it off. Memories.

day of the day

today is panic day. this is a great day for dramatic people. here's a fun list of things to do to celebrate the day. my favorite is: "Go to work way over-dressed. Wear a tux or a prom gown, and, when asked what it’s about, simply reply,'I have an engagement later on.' Keep ‘em guessing." wish i did that. there's never enough opportunities to wear a prom dress these days.

little cutie of the day

just because you are old doesn't mean you can't act like a kid. and trust me, i am getting prettttty old and acting pretttty immature. well this little cutie of a wallet, shaped like a pb&j sandwich, is a nice little reminder of youth. buy it here.

word of the day

mac├ędoine: noun. medley or mixture.
i like to have a mac├ędoine of foods for meals, mostly different varieties of cheese.

Monday, March 8, 2010

amazing music video of the day

here is a combination of two of my favorite things. children (just kidding, i hate them), and the song lisztomania by the band (i discovered) phoenix. the piano player kind of looks like he stole my skinny jeans and tie dye t-shirt. my favorite kids are at 2 minutes: the one little jonas brother/emo cutie jumping up and down in his seat, and the little green-shirt-wearing stevie wonder behind him. awwww.

cupcake of the day


picture of the day

you know how people say americans are fat, lazy, slobs, and europeans are the opposite? well the latter is false. here is a photo i captured of some delightful french tourists. notice this guy has his shoes off, and the woman is wearing sweatpants. unfortunately my urban phone does not have the capability to show the dirt all over this woman's socks. the best part was, after this picture was taken, the empty coke bottle "dropped" out of her hand and was never picked up. hmm, and then you complain about our dirty country? go home!

link of the day

it's nice to give people a chance after they screw up. a wonderful example of this is dave's killer bread. this guy was a MESS; i'm talking armed robbery, drug possession, all the good stuff. still, he was a good baker. when he got out of jail, with a craving for healthy, whole-grain bread, he started his company. read the website for a wonderful tale with details on his drug use and mugshots included. you can order the bread online.

word of the day

jobbernowl: noun. a blockhead; idiot; gullible person.
just because you can't spell simple words doesn't mean you are a jobbernowl; wait, yes it does!

Friday, March 5, 2010

fun fact of the day

a british poll reported that while 77% of men know how much his favorite beer costs, only 38% know his wife's bra size.
ps- this picture is of the beer belly, a wonderful hands-free device that allows guys who AREN'T fat to look that way. it also comes in deluxe and in fanny pack!!

day of the day

today is world day of prayer. hmm.

amazing music video of the day

i've died and gone to heaven. which is good because in reality, i am a candidate for hell. allow me to cyber-introduce you to edward anatolevich hill, aka the trololol man. is this guy from now, or 1976? and why was he not cast in the addams family? don't forget to become his fan on facebook.

word of the day

kapellmeister: noun. a choirmaster; conductor of an orchestra.
whenever i want to impress the boys, i just tell them about my old kapellmeister days in the high school marching band.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

IM Conversation of the Day: Re: Midgets

1: i wonder if these people are serious
i'm still laughing at this
especially that they want one between 21-90
i wish it were a 90 yr old
2: isn't that physically impossible?
like i thought midgets have shorter life spans

1: is it the same people?
2: yea def
actually maybe not?
1: yeah
they are more realistic

amazing music video of the day

it's not new, and it's not horrible like mattyfaz, but it is still amazing. if you don't watch HIMYM, you should because it is the only non-food, non-crime related show i watch. which means it has to be incredibly great.

the average amount of grapes it takes to make a bottle of wine is 600.

i wonder how many it takes to make a BOX of fine franzia?

ps, if you love boxed wine, like all classy ladies and gents, here's a list of the best from epicurious. i will be testing these all out in the upcoming weeks i've decided. maybe even all of them this weekend.

day of the day

ah, national grammar day! every day should be grammar day.

link of the day

Crazy Emails - I Love That Song

we all know a crazy person or two. i feel as if i know that amount multiplied by 37, but that's a story for another day. at times i have been so outraged by emails that i have wanted to forward them straight to a website about crazies, but have held back. not out of the kindness of my heart, but out of my lack of knowledge for a site like this. now i know that there is a haven for wacko emails, emailsfromcrazypeople.com. today's post is a real gem (see above).

word of the day

hirsute: adj. (especially of a man) covered with hair; hairy; shaggy
when being set up on a blind date with a man, you should find out if he is hirsute first.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

fun fact of the day

adolf hitler was one of the world's best-known abstainers of alcohol, while his adversary, winston churchill, was one of the best known heavy drinkers. what a saint that hitler was.

day of the day

all year, i count down until march 3rd, 'what if cats and dogs had opposable thumbs day.' well that's fun to think about. what if they did? you probably wouldn't want one as a pet, i would imagine. hey fluffy, can you open this pickle jar for me?

most exciting news ever... of the day

i am going to get soooo fat. the willy wonka company is FINALLY making scrumdiddlyumptious bars, and launching a real golden ticket contest! the sad news is, oompa loompas aren't real, and you don't get to go to the factory, or win chocolate for life. first prize is a $500 airline ticket voucher. still, imagine all the excitement when you open up a wonka bar and see a golden ticket, a golden chance to make your way! and grandpa joe finally gets out of bed and starts dancing!

deal of the day

it's martini week in nyc. no witty comments to make on that. get drunk.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

fun fact of the day

in malaysia, drunk drivers are jailed and so are their spouses!

free stuff of the day

i used to download songs illegally, but then i decided that if i ended up in jail for that, my more-hardcore cellmates would choose me as their little pet. my hair is reason enough to be made fun of, i don't need an un-gangster crime on my rap sheet. anyway, on musicforaction.org, by sending a pre-written (or if you have some extra time, a personalized) email about climate change to your senator, you can download a bunch of free songs from bonnaroo artists. holler.

amazing video of the day

this week on lopez tonight, the cast of jersey shore is reenacting oscar nominated movies. ronnie and sammi remain annoying, while snooki just gets browner and better.

day of the day

happy birthday dr. seuss!

(and jess bras)

link of the day

if complaining were a full-time job, i would be doing alright, but i know some people who would really dominate the field. some people think this website, please fire me, is inappropriate, with all the natural disasters and the economic disaster in this country. well yes, it is a bit, but it is still pretty entertaining.

Monday, March 1, 2010

fun fact of the day

the bill for a celebration party for the 55 drafters of the us constitution was for 54 bottles of madeira, 60 bottles of claret (red wine), 8 bottles of whiskey, 22 bottles of port, 8 bottles of hard cider, 12 beers, and 7 bowls of alcoholic punch large enough that "ducks could swim in them." sounds like a night at the hasselhoff house?